Pakistan to provide post-retirement jobs to Army veterans to stop them from doing Arnab’s show for money

Islamabad: Embarrassed by the frequent verbal lashings its citizens receive from Arnab Goswami on The Newshour, Pakistan has decided to provide well paying post-retirement jobs to all its Army veterans to stop them from appearing on The Newshour.

ArnabArnab’s favourite whipping boys
Times Now allegedly pays a good amount to all its panels and that keeps attracting Pakistani guests even though they know they won’t get to say anything on the show.

“We didn’t mind initially as their appearances on the show were very few. However, now Arnab invites our veterans on every issue concerning Indian foreign policy and sometimes even Indian domestic policy. The debates follow a very similar pattern; Arnab asks them a question, answers it himself and then scolds them for giving a wrong answer. It is like the groundhog day”, a senior Pakistani government officials aid.

“We tried to find out the reason behind this fetish of getting smacked by Arnab and then we realized it’s the money that the guests receive. Therefore, we decided to provide post-retirement jobs to all our army veterans so that they don’t have to go there for money. Only senior ranked officers will be provided with these jobs though since we never heard Arnab shouting at a common soldier”, the official added.

When we asked Times Now executives about the possible impact of such a move by Pakistan government, an executive producer said,”Oh please, as if that matters to us. People tune in to see Arnab scolding people, doesn’t matter who. If they don’t come, we will find 10 other people. As long as there are 10 windows on Newshour, we are good.”

Meanwhile, Pakistani news editors have also offered their help to their government. “Bhai unhe zaleel hi hona hai to wo hum yahin Pakistani channels par kar denge, Hindustani channel pe jaane ki kya zaroorat hai?” a senior news editor asked.